With your host, Category5 and special guest, Mother Nature who took me over her knee for a good spanking. Yes, Mistress Gaia. We have been a very Bad Boy. Can I have another?
This is the journey.
I am in the eye of the storm. Those were some fierce winds. 100 kph sustained winds. 140 kph wind bursts. We will assess the damage tomorrow. I have slept in worse places. I’ll be stuck here for three of four days…
…and I haven’t even even left Nova Scotia yet.
I’m stuck at the airport. All flights canceled. All hotels full. I wouldn’t ask any of my friends to pick me up. It was a sketchy enough job for Mythos, dropping me off. I guess that is the definition of friendship. I friend will drive you to the airport. A GOOD FRIEND will drive you to the airport during a Superstorm. Boy, do I ever owe him one. There was one person flipped over in the ditch. One competent person in a safety vest was already helping so I dont feel as guilty about not stopping. We couldn’t stop anyhow. Doing so would have left us flipped over in the ditch as well.
So starts my trip.
I fear for my main greenhouse, solar panels and my roof. Not much I can do about it but trust that the new Farm Sitters are up for the job of doing emergency repairs. I think they are the right fit this time. They are at our house for Survival training anyhow. Well, this is it. They seem to know what the future holds. They came because they wanted to upgrade their skills. I guess we will see what they are made of.
While squatting on this bench, potentially for several days, I am the Backwoods Fucking Buddha.
Om’…I, don’t a shit…Om’…I don’t give a shit….Om’….
I am a Rock in a cosmic River.
On the whole, I am not a pillar of mental or emotional stability. I have been broken before. I have a pretty good idea of what would break me….But this is not it. I can laugh at this shit. I don’t worry about much. I am in a far stronger place than I have ever been. I’m Back In Black. Not trapped in the Red. Somehow, this emotional basket case has become a rock of stability for others. If I cant do anything about the situation, Why put my emotional energy into it anyhow. I’ll need that energy focused elsewhere. Like in Endurance. Three or Four days on a bench and one hour sleeps at a time. I can handle that. Boredom will be my main enemy. There is still a chance a hotel room will open up somewhere or some rescue flight will be arranged.
As I have have mentioned before, Survivalism isn’t exotic. It’s not guns and libertarian politics and fucking multi-tools and bow drill firestarting or any of that toxic retard shit that it has been twisted into. It is simply learning to endure what seems unendurable. Tolerating what seems to be intolerable and Adapting to the new reality. Acceptance.
I think I will try to sleep for another hour. I have a beach towel for a pillow and my Hoody for a hotel room.
Rumors of my homelessness were greatly exaggerated.
They rescued me late the next day with some extra emergency planes flown in. True story. One flight came in last night. It must have been during a mild lull in the winds. I overheard some ground crew wile out for a smoke. The reported 23 seats had to be cleaned because of people evacuating themselves. People have a tendency to piss or shit themselves when they think they are going to die. Glad I don’t have that job. FYI. Its normal if this ever happens to you. Your survival brain has focused its energy into keeping you alive and sphincter control is not on the priority list. If this ever happens to you, don’t stop. Keep pushing. Forget your dignity and consider it a sign from the poop gods that you have to be focusing all your energy on what comes next, while dropping the dead weight. Fuck pride. Its the Red Alert Button. Keep focusing for an exit, Keep shooting or Just Keep Breathing.
When I arrived in Toronto I was greeted with record breaking cold weather. 48 celsius below freezing with the windchill factor. They haven’t experience this since long before I was born.
Are you noticing a pattern here? It bodes well for a creative year of writing for any self absorbed blogger, narcissistic enough to call himself “Category5”.
Sure. Weather Happens. But the touch point of any system going through the turn of an exponential growth curve is “Speeding Up”. Shit doesn’t just happen. It happens more often and with greater intensity
It’s been quite the year. Lets recap. I arrived in Peru last year about this time, to a combination of Rain Bombs, Record heat and Flooding that killed hundreds of people and displacing tens of thousands while destroying essential food producing land. The country next door was on fire and then another Rain Bomb hit causing a mudslide that took out another town of a few hundred people/corpses. Oh ya, And snow wasn’t arriving to the mountain tops for farmers to maintain their crops or animals in the south. Then their was the record flooding in Ontario and Quebec. Then grain harvest failures all across the american grain belt. Then The West was on fire…again…and still is. I guess the east was on fire as well…to a lesser degree. Then Europe erupted in flames, made worse by freak winds storms, ’cause they couldn’t let canada and the U.S have all the fun. A mudslide caused by another Rain Bomb in Sierra Leone wiped out another town killing more than a thousand. More ongoing drought famine across Africa, and the civil wars that go with food shortages. And I almost forgot about India and the surrounding regions mega monsoon floods that drowned over 1200. There was also the drought related famine in Yemen to go along with the genocide. The News is quite quiet on that subject since it is the U.S. backed Saudis are playing Hitler this round. Over 10,000 dead, 40,000 wounded, 3 million displaced…and the new year is just getting started. And Who could forget, Hurricane after Hurricane after Hurricane after Hurricane. Fun, Fun Fun. I think there were a few more I am forgetting but since it’s all about me, Summer weather in the late fall in NS. In November it RAINED at the North Pole for the first time, turning it into one big Slushy. That Heat pushing north, drives a cold front south…that wont seem to go away…across almost ALL of North America. And it snows in Florida. Nova Scotia and the East Coast gets a whopper Nor’easter, turned Bomb Cyclone.
That about catches us up to me sitting on a cold plane late for take off. Did I forget anything? Oh ya. I forgot it’s not all about me. There was also the collapse of pacific salmon stocks, huge dead zones in the ocean, starving penguins abandoning their young in the south and starving sea birds in the north…. And a HUGE chunk of Antarctic ice shelf breaks off…. big enough to fit 13 and a half Barbados on. Cultural context…since I am heading to Barbados for 6 months…never mind.
Now, any of these events on its own is just “Weather”. Its happened before. It will happen again. “Don’t worry. Be Happy, Mon”.
Take it all together and it is “Climate”. It’s all part of the Same Storm. “What, Me Worry ?”
I am going to brave Publicly saying a NEW PREDICTION. Expect a bunch of new EARTH QUAKES to get thrown into the mix. Now, that might not seem related but it is. The planet is, Quite literally, changing shape as glacial weight at the poles reduces. The equator is going to be tightening its belt. Earthquakes should take centre stage over the next hand full of years.
And we lift off……
The irony of writing about Anthropomorphic Global Warming while sitting on an plane is not lost on me. It may seem like hypocrisy but it is not even close. I have plenty of OTHER hypocrisy’s…but this ‘aint one.
You see, I gave up on acts of self sacrifice to save the planet. When I am telling you to REDUCE, REUSE AND RECYCLE, its more about getting your financial house in order so you can either buy your way out of financial slavery, find an escape rout or strait up, Prepare. Being less competitive against the unrepentant assholes, only means I don’t get laid and They are the dominant species during the apocalypse they created. Having a harder life by reducing my carbon footprint is sort of like Pissing on a Forest Fire at this point. Maybe if we had taken it seriously in the 70s…but not now.
Unless EVERYBODY does it, my little pee pee dribble of self sacrifice is a big ol’ waist of my semi valuable life. We don’t need to change our light-bulbs. We need to change our lives…. and expectations. I just flew over Toronto and do you know what I see? A Shitload of people NOT changing their lives. I cant compete with that.
Our World Society’s have become energy Alcoholics and they aint going to change until they hit Rock Bottom. Unfortunately, by the time The Rock and Roll show really gets cooking, and people are SCREAMING for change and are finally ready for change, It will, pretty much, already be too late for voluntary change.
Change Will Be Thrust Upon Us.
When it happens to you, it will happen fast.
FAST, may be a week or a decade…and most people still wont accept it.
Our ONLY SALVATION will be a rapid fall off the energy cliff… and a shitload of corpses.
Yes folks, that is Salvation. Raise your hands to the Sky Gods. Can I get’a Hallelujah, Brothers and Sisters of the Apocalypse.
Option 2… is a planet that no longer sustains life, a serious lack of oxygen and sulfur dioxide storms. Quite literally, HELL on EARTH.
So, let us, together, cast out that ol’ Devil, The Father of Lies, shall we.
I’m not practicing a Low Carbon lifestyle to save the planet. I’m Embracing a low carbon lifestyle…For PRACTICE!
And like Moses with a pocket full of wind up Y2K dildos, I will drag as many as I can, kicking and screaming, into the fundamentally changed world. Hey. Can you think of anything more important to do at this point in history. Really? Like What?
And based on what I have been observing, my storm proof shipping containers and school bus greenhouses plan, doesn’t seem so extreme. In-fact, it seems pretty lightweight.
As we are flying over the States, Its fluffy white storm clouds covering everything from horizon to horizon. And I think to myself, all that water will eventually have to go somewhere.
But lets go back a few hours to me starting my day in a hotel room. I start my hotel day like I always do,… stealing shelf stable food from the continental breakfast room. Pockets bulging. Then I move on to scarfing the soaps, coffee and creamer packets…and the pen I am using to write this with before it gets transcribed.
(Hello. This is C5 talking to you from the future like a ghostly apparition. BOOOO…ooo…o. Never mind. This is a good place to throw in a Survival\Prepping/Adapter skillset that you have probably never thought of before. I gleaned this one from the dystopian/apocalyptic book, The Year Of The Flood, by Margaret Atwood. Its number two in the Ornx and Crake trilogy but it is a stand alone book, my favorite in the series and a thought provoking, fun read. Since I have already dragged you into a dumpster before, for pre, mid and post collapse scrounging, and giving my reasons why, it makes sense why I latched on to this after reading it. A large Hotel dumpster is going to be a good place to start accumulating gently used bars of soap. LOTS of bars of soap get used once or twice then get tossed. Small bars in cheap hotels. Full bars in expensive hotels. This is advice for those for whom the Shit has already Hit The Fan, or for frugal preppers saving their money for other prepps. Soap is quite valuable to staying alive. If I get board, I’ll drag a few bags out of one of the many hotels on this island and photograph what I find. They might already get taken by the staff because almost everything on this island is shipped in from elsewhere and is brutally expensive. Example. A tube of Pringles will cost you ten bucks. That is one of the reasons we were sent here to this playground of the wealthy and tax haven for the unscrupulous. MrsC5 is here to try and improve agricultural food security for the locals that cant spend 10$ on junk food. Now back to the real time show)
Soooo…..After putting instant oatmeal and peanut butter packets into my bulging pockets and sitting down with a complimentary coffee, I give alittle good morning shout out to a couple of long hair, surfer youngsters and find out they will be on the same flight as yours truly.They seem nice enough folks. They are just off doing the fun in the sun vacation. Another hard working hippy doing construction work in the false economy, housing boom, with the unavoidable housing crisis of Toronto that will very soon end in catastrophe for any mortgage holder. Turns out, the young Jim Morrison looking kid has been burning himself out doing 10 hour days with no days off. He is realizing that it is no life to live, is spending most of that money just to keep working and had decided to say fuck it and go surfing. As I said, nice enough folks. I like them already.
Then another guy starts to chat me up. I instantly dont like him after the first sentence. My subconscious is picking up, “Morlock”. The other species. All the evil. Less filling. We will just call him, Bud Light.
So, now we are all on the shuttle back to the airport. Me, Bud Light, the surfer kids and a random Russian. The conversation topic is the fucked up cold weather outside. I give my mini spiel about how this weather is related to the hurricanes last year. Basically, what you already just read here and in the last articles.
I am watching the words bounce straight off of Bud Light’s forehead. It’s the reason I didn’t want to talk to him in the first place. He can’t learn anything and I don’t speak Morlock. It’s a waste of my valuable time even acknowledging he exists. He lets out that he came out of retirement and bought an oil field to drill. Go figure. He can’t even stop working. He has to spend his twilight years making the world even worse. He then goes into the well scripted excuses for his own evil. Morlock speak. “I am not really an alcoholic. I just like some in the morning for medical purposes. I only use cocaine recreationaly and can stop anytime. I am not hurting anyone. It’s just normal weather and there is no connection. The hurricanes were just El Nino and those “scientists” only just started learning about El Nino and La Nina.”
It’s seems somebody had taught Bud Light two sciensy sounding words and this excuses everything because, clearly, he is smarter than all of those “scientists”. Trained specialist in there fields? Pfft. They must clearly be part of a world wide conspiracy of satanist. I didn’t feel like correcting him about his newly discovered El Nino thing. That it was the hottest non-El Nino year ever recorded. Instead, I told him that I had predicted the hurricanes three or four years ago, just like I predicted these polar vortexes becoming the new normal, and the reason it was obvious was because it was so fucking obvious. I wanted to add that you have to work Really Hard at denial to not see it. It consumes a lot of people’s mental effort NOT seeing it. Seeing it would confront a person’s self-identity. People can shovel huge piles of coal into that particular furnace. Bud Light asks if I am a meteorologist. Like meteorology has anything to do with paleoclimatology. I tell him that I am a Disaster Preparedness Specialist. He finally shuts up and I am relieved I no longer have to try and speak Morlock. Then the shuttle doors open and we broke the uncomfortable silence by rushing out into the Arctic blast facing the fact that the driver didn’t get us close to the door.
Then comes the next phase as I walk into this confusing airportee looking maze. This is not my element. I have flown very few times in my life. After fumbling around a bit in a daze, surfer kids come up behind me because they figure I know what I am doing and I know where to go. I must be exuding “leadership”. I fill them in that I have no fucking clue what I am doing. (Keep that in mind anytime I present myself as a “disaster preparedness specialist”. It is not a science). We make an alliance to get to where we need to go together because we are not Morlocks and recognize other non-Morlocks. That there is, actually, a good description of Morlocks and non-Morlocks. Morlocks are only concerned about themselves. Non-Morlocks make mutual survival arrangements with others. I guess the fates continue to play with me.
Since we had grouped up it made sense to hang out with them to kill time till loading the plane. The young Jim Morrison looking kid asked me “what do you think is the cause of these weather patterns?” I said anthropomorphic global warming (Duh).
It was his reaction that I am sharing with you. His shoulders relaxed, like a sign of relief. I had said out loud what he was thinking. He may not have thought about it as much as me but I could see it made sense to him and that he was relieved that he wasn’t weird for thinking it.
But the real eyeball opener for me was that he felt uncomfortable saying it to a stranger. Is that where we are as a society, that it is impolite to mention manmade global warming in public. That there might be consequences for saying what is obvious because it is so fucking obvious. It might have consequence to your job or relations with relatives. That it might provoke violence. Thus we should probably not say it in public with strangers.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Right when it is just heating up, pun intended. When the winds begin to blow and weather stability is coming to an end.
Here, let me help you. Whatever you are doing right now, Stop, take a deep breathe and say out loud…
That’s right. Say it proud, say it loud. “Pussy! Awesome, Wet Throbbing Pussy!”
Stick with me here. I’m going someplace with this. Now say “It feels really good when you put a dildo in it! Real good!” (Or a cock or a tongue or a finger – whatever works for you) Own that shit. That is speaking truth to power.
There you go, Brothers and Sisters of the Apocalypse. Speak the truth. Can I get an amen. Pussy’s and cocks feel awesome. Hallelujah. “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free”.
Global warming is going to kill a shitload of people and make everyone else’s lives a lot harder. Dildo in pussy feels good. Man made global warming is happening and lethal.
Now that “dildo in pussy” quote is straight out of the book 1984 by George Orwell. He wrote “Freedom is the freedom to say a pussy feels good when you put a dildo in it. If that is allowed all else follows”.
Oh, Hang on.I might have got that wrong. It might have been, “If you can say Two plus Two is Four, all else follows” I have some memory issues. But corporations bought off the right mercenaries to say “Two plus Two equals Five…and we will shoot you if you say differently”.
That we even have to have this conversation astounds me. These spin doctors have twisted this so that the gentle Eloi have to seem like they are standing up to proclaim, “I BELIEVE in global warming” and this comes out like, “I Believe in SantaClause and Jesus”.
Well, I ‘aint no Eloi. I’m hunting Morloc today.
And I encourage you to do the same. Don’t be a gentle Eloi… or you are going to get eaten.
(MrsC5 points out that some people wont get the cultural reference. Its from the classic book, The Time Machine by HG Wells. The world de evolves into two species. A predator and a prey species Morlocks and Eloi )
I’m not doing this to save the planet. The planet is fucked. These storms at the moment are from the lower carbon inputs from thirty years ago. There is a time delay from cause to effect. Its only just starting. There is no realistic way to stop it. The reason I am speaking, Survival/Prepping/Adapter wise, is that if you can not say it out loud, how the hell are you going to convince people to prepare for it and Prepare DEEPLY as if your life and those of your children depend on it….Because it does.
I don’t have to say, “I believe trying to breath without oxygen is really bad for you”. That should be a given. It should not be awkward to say around the dinner table. Considering the new dead zones in the ocean where fish can no longer live because it stopped producing oxygen, that is the level of what we are facing. It would be ridiculous to say, “I believe in oxygen”.
Oh, GOOD. Its not just me. Worth a read. I missed a few storms. The article- Get Used to Saying ‘Bomb Cyclone.’ This is our Climate Now.
Now, I have been harping on anthropomorphic global warming for a while and I don’t want all of you to think of me as “That Guy”. Its only One of the inevitable deadly life changes we need to “ADAPT” to. There is also energy and the economy hitting the fan.
Its just the one that keeps slapping me in the face lately as I roam around the planet. As a non Eloi, my instinct is to slap back.
So, now I am sitting on a warm, sandy beach with ideal blue water…staring at Really Ugly, pasty white, out of shape, tourists.
But based on my “issues” of this trip and the weather before hand, all through my travel my thoughts went back to my strategy of “Shipping containers and School buses”. Things that can handle 200kph winds if they are secured to the ground. I have to figure out ways to secure them to the ground on the cheap. Good News. Independently, MrsC5 decided we need more shipping containers because of the storms. Nice.
And I am getting plenty of inspiration for that here. Photo Documentation to follow.
As an incredible bonus to you all, I have arranged an interview with a survivor of the hurricane hitting Dominica. A fortuitous meeting I wished I had had a tape recorder rolling. Its an incredible and educational story of survival that includes the family huddling so the children wouldn’t get sucked out the window. Stay tuned
AND THEN IT ALL WENT TO SHIT
The farm sitters have announced they are leaving at the end of the month without an explanation. They lasted less than a week. I wanted to know what they were made of. Now we know. A big heaping pile. This will cost us thousands. The canadian tax payer just threw away a bunch of money and several Bajans will most likely lose their job because of our farm sitters. As well as MrsC5s Professional reputation and future prospects being damaged. We are still in shock. Looks like I will only be here for a couple weeks unless I we can pull a miracle out of our ass.