Season II- C5 serves Cock Favored Soup- Doomstead Dining on Survival Food Storage, Home at The Dark Green Mountain

cock

With your host, Catergory5 …and… Some people I don’t have permission to promote… but I am going to do it anyhow. Devious bastard that I am.

I have noticed something by watching the statistics.

Few people read links I put on the page.

Fore those of you who don’t read my links….. You are not going to have much fun this post.

Its an important post or I would not of done it. I really do have other things to do.

Click the links… or it wont make sense. DJ C5 might as well kick this season off with the soundtrack to this fine article, below

 

We are teaching people how to swim, proverbially.

Periodically, I stumble onto really good survival advice… that others don’t or wont take much interest in because it is just not sexy enough. All the Real Survival Advice that can produce Actual Survival….definitely not sexy. As I have said many times, someone may try to kill you a few times in life… but you have to eat every single day. Often more than once. This should adjust your focus onto what is really important… and know what is just masturbatory fluff.

One of those better series was presented by Re at The Doomstead Diner. “SNAP Card Addendum”.

I’ve unrepentantly stolen a couple things from Re. The first is that I refer to my place as a Doomstead. It was the perfect word. Homestead was the wrong word, bringing to mind imaging of settlers carving something out of the wilderness. Its falsely progressive sounding. A Doomstead is for when society is regressing. Our place is not a farm. That implies it is a business of exploiting land, and selling something. A Doomstead implies the process of buying and selling has gone wonky. A Community implies something hippy or religious utopian. A Doomstead community on the other hand implies that you need each other simply to stay alive  in the midst of a dystopia. And it is definitely not a Bug Out Location. That implies Business As Usual with a last minute escape plan. You know I consider this a Denial Plan. No real Plan at all. A Doomstead implies acceptance and that you have put collapse adaption theory into practice…and boy, did it ever need practice. It took 5 years of full time work to simply be able to say we had Addendaed the shit out of our lives and skills to the point we simply would not die…but we would not like it much. Five years of work meant we simply wouldn’t have distended tummies and sunken eyes, ethiopian style, while freezing to death. Yup. Its a Doomstead. Then we burnt out and went traveling, knowing it was the last chance. Now it is time for more Addenda.

The other thing I stole from Re was the word Addendum. Not commonly used but I am a wordy guy and it is a useful word for what I do here on the Doomstead.

Now I am about to steal Re’s Soup….

Re’s articles, that I am shamelessly stealing are on Cheap Eats. Food that can be afforded by those on Welfare. We don’t have SNAP Cards here in Cana’duh… but the principle is the same. I have been on Welfare before so understand how hard it can be to get enough nutrition. I consider the whole episode as Survival Perspective training.

If you are thinking of checking out at this point because somehow you are just too good for this and it would never happen to you…just stop. Get over yourself… or better still, just stop reading, go back to the other Yuppy Scum Survivalist sites, roll the dice and takes your chances.

This isn’t just about staying fed while poor. Its Survival Training. Wrong word. Its Adapter Training. It will also teach you how to better use products in your food storage. How too stretch it out. How to make it healthier. How to use the absolute cheapest available industrial production food (some of the cheapest food to put in your food storage system) and yet get flavor AND nutrition AND enough calories AND still be comfort food… during a time when you will really need comfort food.

For those with less funds, this is a path to being able to to build your own food storage prepping supplies. Simply put, the only way to get past, hand to mouth eating mixed with periodic hunger, is to lower your food cost… and then focus that money into food storage as a buffer against food or financial interruption.

More important than Re’s actual advice, is that this post should re train you how to think about survival food. How can I “Addendum” my food. How can I make it Better. More nutritious. More “Edible”.

What got me thinking about writing this, is that we just came back from some places with SUBSTANTIALLY higher food costs. We simply could not afford the “Junk” food. Junk is a good word for it. Its barely food. But its cheap… thus North Amerikans eat it and think it is food. I store alot of it in my food storage because it is cheap and shelf stable. Its also grossly underpriced. Its artificially priced. It doesn’t represent actual work…and my subconscious has been SCREAMING at me that it is about to go away… some time very soon. My subconscious has steered me right before.  It pays attention to what my conscious mind might not have all the facts about. And my subconscious has been screaming at me to quickly rebuild my pantry, specifically, the cheap “Junk” food. Like canned soups. A simple doubling of the price would suddenly make many peoples lifestyles drop dramatically. Depression, divorce, homelessness and mis-focused political outrage would follow.

In Barbados, a can of Chunky Soup was going for about 8-10 dollars. A bag of Chips, 12$. A carton of Juice, 7$. Our standard of living dropped dramatically when our food costs more than doubled. It got me thinking of the Arab Spring. A doubling of food costs, shattered the existing order. Syria?  That has all been about climate change, farm abandonment and food cost rise. Suicides buy farmers from India to America. Cheap fuel uncertainty.  Market manipulation and fraud. And who can forget the truly weird weather this year around the globe. Rain at the poles while snowing at the Vatican. There is nothing weird about the weather to me. Its as expected. More to come, and speeding up.

Well, lets just jump in. Remember, you are supposed to go read it. This is where I jumped into Re’s series. It may not SEEM like advice for the apocalypse. But it is the beginning of training in how to Think about food.

 

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2016/10/16/snap-card-gourmet-pizza/

 

What got my attention in this article…is that I had done similar things. It wasn’t just me. Oh good. I chatted with my friend Mythos on the subject since he had also been from the shit. We talked about the cheapest street level food. I always did the meatball sub at Subway as the cheapest source of edible calories. It would turn into a soggy mess if not eaten right away. Re was correct in avoiding tomatoes or sauce. But his insight to cut up a sub, stretching it out into several meals, got my brain going. The sub wasnt the whole meal. Just part of it….And it can be “Addenda” or added to. Add the better things you like. Its just a base. So, I said to Mythos, “The absolute cheapest street food was Wendy’s Chili on the Value Menu.” Mythose jumped in, “Exactly. I would start my day with Wendy’s chili if I was going to put in physical effort that day”. Its when me and Mythos really started to bond because we realized we were from similar backgrounds. The next would be the pizza. Dollar slices weren’t really pizza. Just flavored fresh bread. That makes it perfect to Addendum. We do that at home. We occasionally get the absolute cheapest frozen pizzas when they are on sale for 2.50 to 3.50$. There is almost nothing food like about this product. Its barely edible. A waist of the energy to bake it. Instead, we use it at a cheep base to put other meats, cheeses or vegetables on. The use of the the toaster oven in Re’s article was also good. Way more energy efficient that heating a full stove.  A dollar saved is a dollar earned. Last would be the roasted chicken. When I lived in my van, I could only do this in cold weather since I had no reliable refrigeration. And it was cheaper than roasting a chicken once you factored in roasting cost. It was several meals. A chicken meal or two. A sandwich meal or two. Then several meals of soup once the rest was boiled up. Stone Soup. The real food of the apocalypse. Whatever you have on hand, Addendum’s your food. That is my point here. We do the same with our own chichens today. Its many meals. After the first meal, MrsC5 strips everything off the bones for other stir fries, then starts a soup from the bones to suck every gram of nutrition out of it.

Now, lets move on. This is where it gets really useful. I dare say, exiting. If you are not exited… it means you have never known hunger.

 

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2017/01/01/snap-card-gourmet-soup-ammendation/

 

Exited yet? Hopefully you are figuring out where I am going with this. Using your food storage in creative ways you might not of thought of before. But before we get there, here is more.

 

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2015/11/08/snap-card-gourmet-gumbo/

 

OK. Hopefully you get it by now. If not, let me spell it out. You can take a single can of the cheapest possible shelf stable food and change it into a meal that can feed many. Alone, you can barely call it food. But if you start to look at it as a base OR a flavoring, everything changes.

Some of you will remember I started to write a book but then decided I suck at writing books so stopped. But in my failed book, I told a story where new people came to my Doomstead at the beginning of a collapse. My character wanted to test them, so I took a single 50c can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, put it on the table and made it clear this was the meal tonight and it was meant to feed the six people around the table. I wanted the new comers to know just how valuable that little can was.

That can was barely enough to feed one person and its nutrition was negligible. So, how is it possible. It was meant to be a sauce or flavoring to make unpalatable food, edible. A 50c can of cream soup was meant to flavor a 1.50 bag of spaghetti or rice. From there, we would “stone soup”, or, Addendum it up to a nutritious meal. Foraged greens, onions from the garden, whatever tiny bit of meet was available, some dried stuff from last year, etc.  The story was supposed to be a food storage teaching tool. One little can of cheap processed food, becomes a big pot of healthy food for several…or just alot of leftovers.

Re took it a bit further though. Even I hadn’t thought about taking a can of Chunky Soup and just turning it into a better soup. Face palm. The simple genius of the idea. The best I had come up with was pouring it over rice, pasta, free bread, wheat berries, greens or potatoes, fresh or instant.

Now, some pups might be unfamiliar with the term “Stone Soup” or the parables from which it comes. No need to waist my effort here. You can look it up here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_Soup

I will say goodnight to Re and The Doomstead Diner at this point. Thanks again. (But don’t go away. There is much more below… as there often is) You can find him here. http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/  Their forum section is also a news source I regularly visit though it is a bit hard to find. http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/forum/  Scroll down to the bottom of the page. But I will also leave you with a few more from the SNAP Card Addendum series if you with to continue reading.

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/11/23/the-snap-card-gourmet-004-chicken-snap-alaska-re/

This may seem a bit pricey….. but its the proof. By eating cheap, you can then splurge. We do this. Or, you can now start saving food.

And, its also about veggies. Not just cans or meat.

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2017/05/14/the-endless-salad/

A meal plan

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2015/12/27/snap-card-gourmet-weekly-menu/

and more

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/11/16/the-snap-card-gourmet-003-eggs-toba-flambe/

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/11/09/the-snap-card-gourmet-002/

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/10/31/the-snap-card-gourmet-001/


 

So, REAL SURVIVAL TRAINING is all about food.

 

It is the Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the End. Remember that every time you eat.

 

We say goodby to Re but the subject is just getting started.

Im quoting…..myself.  “An example, I have used before.- A popular YouTube “prepper expert” put out a video saying, “Sorry. I cant do any more Prepper videos because I cant afford to buy any more guns to show you. I just lost my job. I am about to lose my house (behind him was the big suburban Barbie dream house). I guess they will repossess the truck as well. I cant afford the gas for it anyhow. ”
All I can respond is, “Your survival advice is shit, dude.”

Dude, I could bitch slap you all day about how your Rambo advice is bad, M’kay, or I could try to help you Adapt. Here is how I can best help you adapt to your new found roll of not having the god given privilege you were sure was your birth right.”

 

https://www.leannebrown.com/   -Good and Cheap: Eat Well on $4/Day.

 

It will direct you to a free PDF file you can store on your computer.

You see, I often say that preppers and survivalists are really bad at Transitional Phases. They are planning for a future event and they just cant wrap their heads around that it has already arrived. It just looks different than the SHTF brochure.

I am quoting once again from one of my old articles because its relevant to this post-

“People complain about the rising cost of food. If you believe that…it is because our society has become totally out of touch with their own food production. Read that line again.

Food will NEVER BE CHEAPER THAN IT IS TODAY. Industrialised food production is INSANELY cheap. Its totally creepy. That they can ship food from across the continent cheaper than you can grow it locally….creepy. No other good word but CREEPY….and fragile. If you have any fantasy that it will be cheaper to grow your own food, just knock that shit right out of you. You cannot compete with , on one hand, multi million dollar (Big bank Financed) industrial mega farms, and on the other hand, exploited small farmers making a couple bucks an hour, always one harvest away from losing their farm. Total exploitation. It’s the problem with capitalism that no one but me talks about. Eventually, all the capital ends up in a few hands while destroying every one else that cant compete with the big boys. Tyranny. That is where we are today. Eventually all capital theoretically ends up in one hand. That is the nature of our competitive system . Trickle Down?…my unwashed ass . You cannot compete with McFoodCorp. Don’t even try. Growing your own food is way more expensive. You don’t do it to save or make money. You do it for FOOD SOVERNTY. You must be willing to pay your local farmers more for food…to keep that food local…and within your grasp as the 2000 mile food chain breaks down.

But while we have it…there is no good reason not to have a stocked pantry…other than being a FAKE prepper.
“FOOD STORAGE- Because its Cheap. Because its Easy. Because your great grandparents wouldn’t understand why you didn’t and would be really angry with you.” (Chris Martenson)
We are talking prepping for poor or under prepared people here. Forget all about specialty prepper food here. No freeze dried #10 cans or MREs or any of that stuff unless you have extra cash to burn. Just buy the usual stuff you usually eat…but buy more of it…when it’s on sale…for a third or half the price. Use what you store. Store what you use. There is no need to traumatise yourself with huge costs. If you just pick up 6 extra cans when you stumble across them half price…it accumulates really fast. Your grocery bill actually goes way down. Here is the good news. Most of the crap food we ship across the continent is prepared in a way that it stores a real long time. Forget all about the Sell By dates. I’m fine eating a 5 year old canned food or rice or pasta.”

So, hear are a few other tips we learned in our travels. Down in Peru, certain food was cheap, cheap, cheap. Produce. Fruits and veggies. This is what happens when you only pay people a few dollars a day for hard labour, in a country with deceptive labour laws and no real safety net. Coming to a deregulated free market capitalist country near you.

And before I get too far, As a bonus, we will send you two more cheap assed shelf storable foods if you order today…..

Ramen noodles… and Corn meal. My mind chose to focus on this in our travels. Let me explain.

My gods! You can still get ramen noodle packs for about a quarter…in spite of inflation. Lets put that in perspective. Canadian pennies are now gone. The nickles arent even worth using any more. Dimes are the new pennies. Dimes and quarters are almost worth throwing out or turning into washers. Washers are more expensive. Yet you can buy a meal for a quarter that will last at least a decade.

But you cant really call it food. Yet this should be the most obvious food to Addenda. It shows it right on the damned package. At least on the good ones that cost more….but taste better. The actual Asian ones. They have more packets in them with oils, garlic paste, dried meats and veggies, etc. But even still, its only supposed to be a base. You addenda vegetables and meats. Duh. That means you can take a product for one measly quarter… and feed at least a couple of people on it, using up leftovers and scraps from the fridge…or foraged greens and meats. Alot of foraged greens or meat is hard to choke down. This is how you make it edible.  It also helps you psychologically transition from a food source you have grown up on…to developing a taiste for foraged foods that that your mind might reject. We developed food burn out in South America. Its a real issue that few in the prepping food storage community talk about. So I ate alot of noodle packs (though they were a lot more expensive in our travels. The real cost of un subsidized shipping and oil. Coming to a continent near you) but I added other food stuffs to it to turn it into a real meal… just like they showed on the packet. Some times I would just put  an egg in to boil as the noodles are cooking to reduce fuel costs. A penny earned.. It has been my experience that noodle packs that are a few years old, take a little longer to cook.

So, lets recap. 25c to 2$ meal that feeds two after addendum with whatever else you have. Can I possibly make food storage any cheaper?

Why, Yes I can, other C5. Yes I can.

Consistently, the single cheapest industrial food to be found in any supermarket, even in Barbados… was corn meal. Now, corn meal doesnt have a very long shelf life. Its for use within a couple years. We have been eating some that is about 3 years old and am surprised with the lack of rancidness. We learn as we do. Things subject to going rancid, like nuts, oils or flower, should really be stored in the freezer or fridge.

The most boring but simple use of corn meal is to breakfast cereal it up like cream of wheat. Yuck. Cream of snot. It will take some serious addendum. But why waist typing time.

Corn bread is the big one. Its been a staple in poorer communities forever. I’ll eat it but I am not a big fan. But it gets way better once you start to addenda it. Add canned or frozen or fresh corn to it. Onions. Greens like spinach, beet tops or the one tolerable wild green, lambs quarters. And left over meat. Ham chunks or bacon. Yum. Now corn bread is something I might get exited about. For 2.50 a bag, I’ll learn to Adapt.

So, that is why this not so very sexy post is important enough that I put all this effort into it.

Psychological prepping….

It is learning to accept that, as things break down, you may have to work labour jobs that pay way less than minimum wage, no matter how skilled and privileged and indispensable you think you are. You think it is bad now, with 70 year olds stocking shelves at walmart? Amerikans got all righteous indignation in the face of their Recession that is not really a Recession. In spite of what you hear from the talking parrot at the top, the economy is not booming. They are just repeating a lie over and over again from the oval tweeting pulpit till people believe it and repeat it. Chocolate rations are not down. They are up 10 grams. So says the ministry of truth. People got in their 2 minutes of hate on the internet and then the poll both. They were ripe to hear, “make merika great again”

And they believe that shit. News flash. Nothing can stop the avalanche. The fundamentals are the same. Same debt based economy. Same resource depletion. Same lowering of  purchasing power. Same shitting where we eat.

So, True story. I was shucking peas in front of the TV while drinking a twelve pack. After a few hours of mindless shucking, I had a bag of peas to put in the freezer. Sure. they were nice, near organic peas but that is not the point. I could have bought the bag of peas in the store for about 5$. Net loss to me? At least 25$, dozens of hours… and a hang over.

MrsC5 took this opportunity to bite. Basic dog psychology. She said, “Well. That is not very good use of your prepping time. Now, is it?”.

I understand what is going on. The female is testing me. She wants to know if I am a submissive. So I shoot her a Han Solo cocky smile and say, “This is psychological prepping. Its not just a job for ‘Brown’ people anymore, Princess. Get used to it”.

Relationship balance restored. She has affirmation that I can be a man when the chips are down. This, subconsciously, makes her feel safe. Just encase you are wondering what is going on.

If you ever wonder about this Blog and its value to “Actual Survival”, Its main purpose is to confront you with the same reflection….

“Its not just a job for ‘Brown’ people anymore, Princess. Get used to it”

 

 

We have covered all of this stuff on food before, though I might have been being sneaky about it.

First we covered Survival Acres 5 part series, The Fallacy of Bugging OUT, to kick the shit out of the idea that their will be food waiting for you, or you can grow what you need in time in the wilderness if you Bug Out. We stomped that idea so thoroughly that the Zombie corpse would never be able to rise from the grave again. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/06/23/c5-presents-the-fallacy-of-bugging-out-part-i-by-survival-acres/

We covered the absolute cheapest store-able food. Wheat Berries. I went to a person that says things that doesn’t represent me or my views in the slightest. But when a person is right… they are right. I think he sees the same in me. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/06/09/c5-presents-the-worlds-most-boring-survival-advice-also-the-best/

I then covered, if you have no money at all, taking advantage of waist food in our system, by getting your class issues dirty.  https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/07/21/c5-practical-survival-advice-for-the-poor-when-its-already-too-late-to-prep/

Then I taught you how to get food for a food storage on the cheap. The “Junk” food, corporations sell for almost free. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/11/16/c5-practical-survival-advice-for-the-poor-episode-iii-taming-the-hunter-gatherer-instinct/

Then I showed you what REAL food production would be like without oil and just how busy you will be each and every year. That you Can Not do it on your own. Especially without the knowledge.  https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/10/19/tales-from-the-dark-green-valley/

Then I got Naked to show you some work arounds. Self Reinforcing Permaculture food systems that grow whether you are there of not. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/12/13/return-to-the-dark-green-mountain-the-naked-truth/

And now I have brought you Re… to teach you what to do with your cheap, stored food.

I also threw in some posts on animal production but I am no expert in that subject. A rank amateur.

On the general overview of “Dont Starve To Death Club” That is all I got. I have badgered it to death and I will keep badgering it.

 

FOOD

IT IS THE ALPHA AND OMEGA OF SURVIVAL. The Beginning and the End. Every thing else is ADDENDUM. If you do not have that, You really have NOTHING. And You have NO CHANCE.

 

One last unauthorized promotion. All the advice I just gave you is of questionable health benefit. People may trip over their own classicism or food purity self rules. How about I give you some healthier food… and what to do with food storage once industrial food storage is all gone… and food storage is what you now do with food you actually grew…and stored.

For this I turn to FarmGal at Just Another Day On The Farm.

I think I might have accidentally scared away FarmGal. I may have accidentally insulted her with my random Bratty comments. One local friend, I was surprised had been reading my blog. She commented that it was more fun because she knew the writer. Her words. “I am reading along, being challenged….and then Comes that moment when I realized,  he decided it was time to be a Brat.”

Yup. That’s me. Its my most charming quality. But you might take it personally if you didn’t see the quirky smile. That I was just being a brat. If I am really picking a fight, you will know it because I will name names and call that person out.

Farmgal is a top tier prepper. Some people have Fantasy Football teams. If I had a Fantasy Prepper Team, I’d make Farmgal the Captain. Thanks for coming to my apocalypse. You are in charge now….

So. What does a Top Tier Prepper do? Not alot of running around in camo. She grows food. Then she eats food.

Much of her blog posts are her doing recipes. If you look a bit closer… you realize its food she had grown, gathered and stored from the season before. It was time to eat it. Yup. When The Shit Hits The Fan, you are going to need a good cook. That is real power. I pledge my allegiance… to the person that magically provides food. Nothing Magic about it though. That type of thinking about food magically appearing is what has got us into this mess.

You can find Team Captain Farmgal here.

https://livingmydreamlifeonthefarm.com/

 

So, if FOOD is the Alpha and the Omega of survival,… it sure seems sexy to me….

True story. I met MrsC5 online. After she contacted me… I read her profile and responded,…

“When I saw that you grow, can and cook your own food, It gave me a bit of wood”.

Survivalist Sexy. Oh Ya, Baby. Give me some sugar.


 

 

You all know where the Tip Jar is.

FYI. Posts will be alot more infrequent this year. Only when I am inspired… and have time. Maybe one a month.  But I always give you my best.

 

 

 

 

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