C5 Still Gets Apocalyptic Wood-It Just Takes More Imagination And Effort- P-II and 1/2

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With you Host, Category5…

…and more inappropriate  double-entendre  blog titles. There’s a 3 dollar word to look up.

We continue the Double Penetrating look into getting wood during energy decline. Phrasing. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about. We are getting in the middle of staying warm during the EROEI apocalypse. (I could keep this up all day… if I only had the stamina. Phrasing. Boom)

This is the fourth article in the “C5 Gets Wood” series. Here is the, sort of, part II and you can find your way backwards from there. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2019/03/05/c5-gets-apocalyptic-wood-from-faggots-p-ii/

And to think, all of this started because of an online discussion on Billhooks. A European  wood cutting tool that never really got traction across the pond. We will continue to look at some Adult Tools you may not have thought of before for getting wood, when a gas powered chainsaw has ceased to be an option, either because the gas is gone or you cant afford it any longer.

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But before we get there, I want to re visit Mythos and Logos homestead. Remember this?

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This is an extremely simple rocket mass heater. (Stay tuned to the end. I have a surprise give away for a couple of people)  They heat their very small home… with sticks. Not logs. A rocket mass heater is a much more efficient burner of wood than a woodstove. Plus it has the bonus of being able to be made by hand. Double plus, it burns the stuff that loggers wouldn’t even bother to pick up. The stuff people just make burn piles of.

tiny hot 4 docThis is Mythos and Logos wood pile. They mainly use up all the forest wood they clean up, while reducing forest fire combustible material near their home. Old forests rarely burn and when they do, the big trees usually survive. Its all these second, third and fifth cutting, clear cuts, that are raging infernos waiting to happen that kill everything, all the way down to soil life.   One last past photo.

tiny hot 2 doc

And this is their incredibly impressive oven, that also heats the mass using those same waste branches.

Now, I mentioned I had some product reviews that needed to be done. I chose very specific products after long careful consideration. It took me months before making a purchase. Years in some cases. I want to share my reasoning on each purchase. The last thing Preppers/Survivalists/Adaperts need to hear is, “buy more stuff”. I have spent about 500 canadian bucks lately, and, lets face it, an ever increasing percentage of people cant afford to come up with 500$ to cover an emergency, let alone buy consumer goods. And each consumer good, destroys our life support system just a little bit further.

(I wanted to slip in this Bonus Read here because I needed some place to put it and I didn’t want you to miss it. By the, beyond reproachable and very likable Richard Heinberg. One of my heroes of the apocalypse. I got a few good chuckles from this post –  The House Is On FIRE!)


Flooding in the US, Hurricanes in several countries, heat records being broken up north… all in the last couple weeks.https://earther.gizmodo.com/it-was-70-degrees-in-alaska-this-week-1833492360?fbclid=IwAR0QOzz5AX-MAf1J27yLtqRM0-Vfb9oBWradaAzUpzOOYQ3ThGL-iVCPQYA

And that new abnormal is permanent. It aint going away. It only gets worse…

….and I needed to buy a few things on Amazon. Boy, It took a “special kind of evil” to think up a monopolistic, local economy destroying, company that is even worse for us than Walmart. Good Job Evil. At least at walmart you get to walk a bit.

Before we get to the hacking tools… I’m fully aware of the irony of in that in attempting to get away from chainsaw dependence… I bought another chainsaw. A CORDED electric chainsaw. Hear me out.

I’ve shown you all the hand cut-able wood carried up to the house. We also have solar and wind power. The most efficient way to buck all that up to stove size is to wait for a sunny day, put the wood into some gathering device like this, and whip through it.

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3-4 minutes later

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Most people don’t have solar… but they do have a car or know someone that does. Inverters that attach to a car battery are also easily available now days. Cars now days are much more efficient than a two stroke engine. My Stihl chainsaw is still indispensable,…

…but two is one and one is none.

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Also, I’m going to croak at some point. No denying that. The big chainsaw is too much for MrsC5 to handle (it’s starting to get too much for me) but a girl will still need wood (Phrasing). The electric is much lighter and easier to handle. Same issue for all the older folks reading this.

You can see, it’s still a substantial saw. I only reduced about a third the weight. In retrospect, I could have gone for the next size down for our purposes. Too late now.

Its much easier to improvise alternative electrical systems than alternative gas. And nearly impossible to come up with improvised 2-stroke mix. Either way, we have got both covered now.

We, personally,  could not justify the cost of a Stihl electric saw. If you can only spend 100+$, recommended best choice is the Worx WG303.1 14.5 amp.

But we wanted a mid range saw for reliability… and the gem in that range is the Makita UC4051A. Its been going on sale lately for 300$ canadian on Amazon. Deal of the century.

Being cheap ass’ed is an essential Adapters skillset. Following Yuppy Scum Survivalists is a great way to go bankrupt.

“The Best” is the enemy of The Good.

(bonus survival tip- A car and inverter is a much more reliable generator as gas generators often sit unused for years then wont fire when needed)

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Billhooks have been difficult to get in Cana’ duh. Logos lent me hers for a photo. The only reasonable one we can get here is the one from Lee Valley Tools in the 50$ range which doesn’t seem like a good price for the product. But that’s just me. I wanted some replacement options that do a similar job. Hacking in tight spaces. Cold Steel has done a grand job at low priced, good quality hackers. People can afford these. C5’s cheap ass’edness to the rescue.

C5 Rule of Adaptation- Go small or go home.

The shocking surprise was…

Now, doesn’t that make you feel all manly. Too bad they weren’t thinking about that the best way to not die is to avoid Hypothermia or become a frozen meatsicle for the Donner Diners next party. If it can handle the abuse of cutting though a leg bone without damage, then getting through 1-3 inch green firewood, hedge laying or clearing combustible material near you home…?…Right tool for the job! Plus it is lite enough for MrsC5 to handle, I can swing it all day without getting tired and in its sheath, its not hanging below my knee, so that means it doesnt get in the way when working in the garden or similar jobs on your knees. Phrasing. Boom.

My only problem so far is that the rivet on the snap strap that hold it on the sheath, popped off on the second  wear. Its very sharp and I dont want to accidentally cut myself by it falling out of the sheath. I’ll need to do some tactical sewing like a real man, to re attach it. Good thing I have a sewing awl. https://www.princessauto.com/en/detail/sewing-awl/A-p8068660e

Next, we move onto the Cold Steel Heavy Machete. Even cheaper. Big cut in a small package. Here we see bucking that wood into stove size. You can see the depth of that cut and I didn’t swing hard. This is hardish wood.

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I Like. I think I will keep it as is, but you can tell from the photo below, that one of the reasons I took the risk of this purchase was that if it didn’t live up to my needs, that I would use it as a blank and cut it down into a much more French or Italian style Billhook. I might even sharpen the back side so I have two different cutting options. With hook for small branch gripping or without for larger chopping.

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Someone, tell Cold Steel to get on this.

And if it needs to be said, the wood will cut easier when green, but even though it is small wood, you will still need to stack it (covered) and let it season for a year if you want it to burn efficiently. You will also notice, I cut at an angle. It wont cut deep  if you just cut straight into it.

And, if their are issues with these items going forward, I’ll let you know.

It seemed like a smaller post in my head. This has gone on for several days. Looks like I have to come back some other time for… I can hear the groans…. Part 2 and 2/3s- C5 SAW Something That Gave Him Apocalyptic Wood……. Phrasing. Boom.


Continuing last weeks depressing post…

I mentioned in in one of those Bonus Reads… that you probably didn’t read, buy Greg Palast, is that the Venezuela situation can be summed up as….

“People don’t know the Kochs have these giant refineries, some of the biggest in the world, on the Gulf Coast of Texas, in the middle of oilfields. They can’t use Texas oil because it’s not heavy and filthy enough, so they have to take almost all their oil from Venezuela, one of the only places where you get this super heavy oil…. The Kochs have been going crazy – they were losing money at their refinery because of the price.”

Period! Lets continue with that, this Bonus Read- Turning Low EROI Oil Into No EROI Oil.


Top lines- “The second problem with fracking is that the oil recovered is of a lower quality than most conventional crude oil.  Refineries are set up to handle “goldilocks” oil – not too light, not too heavy – in order to optimise production of mid-range fuels like aviation fuel, diesel and kerosene (with petrol/gasoline as a useful waste product).  The trouble with fracking is that it produces too much light oil (including natural gas condensates) and too little of the really useful mid-range oil.  The – apparently unsatisfactory – work around has been to blend US shale oil with Canadian and Venezuelan ultra-heavy oils in an attempt to create something – at additional cost – akin to the sweet crude”.

and- “In the brain-dead commentary sections of the mainstream media, the reason Venezuela is in crisis is simply “socialism;” although those making this crude analysis would reject the similar claim that the crisis in Haiti is “capitalism” or that the travails of Somalia are “libertarianism.””

It’s all about the EROEI folks. All of this. This is why I continue to bring you important Adapter skills like the ones on WOOD above.

Lets sum up. That whole Fracking “MIRACLE” and amerikas fake oil independence. It’s all basically useless oil… unless they control Venezuela and Alberta Canada.

And they have a shit load of money to spend on the best spin doctors, the best media money can buy, the right politicians they bought into office and a zombie population with short memories of their dead or traumatized loved ones and painful anus’s from the last time they were bent over with the right smooth talk of patriotism and the promise of jobs, jobs, jobs.

The only good news is that the human race might be dead soon by their own hands and all this suffering will come to an end. I can picture Buddha and Jesus sharing a joint and trying to figure out how to end this insanity.

…And speaking of progressive Jesus… or Lee Camp… here he is covering…..

….Pretty much, EVERY subject I just talked about a few days before in the last post. Plus he slips in a Dick joke… and a BITCH  joke. Spooky. I had been waiting on the Blackout subject till better info came in… though it seemed pretty obvious to me.

Shall we end this with one of DJ-C5s (and Mythos’s) favorite songs of all time… because of the dip shits in charge of industry and government and monopolized media. In the last post we played “War Pigs”. A great quote was, “I don’t listen to Black Sabbath very often… but when I do, so do my neighbors”. I don’t have neighbors… but on more than one occasion, when I play Industrial Metal… wolves have shown up to listen. True stories.

And don’t forget to stay till the end for the give aways



This is C5 at Dark Green Mountain Survival Research Centre. Transmitting from Koch Brothers/U.S. Occupied Canada.

If you are receiving this broadcast, YOU are The Rebel Alliance.


The TIP jar is at the top of the page, if you found this helpful, want to support the cause or were simply entertained by my weird one of a kindedness. You can’t get any of this in your nightly corporate news.

But I mentioned something about a give away.  Nicole Alderman from Permies.com donated 4 codes to give 4 people access to a video  based on a course on Rocket Mass Heaters.

She wrote, “A while back, Paul (Wheaton) gave me some gift codes to the Cob Rocket Mass Heater video (it’s a full-length film). Here’s a link to the video https://permies.com/w/cob-style-rmh. If you want to watch it, I can send you a code.

“Baring doomsday, the code gives the person permanent access. The person does have to make a permies account and be logged in to use the code. To have an account, they’d end up getting an email from us once a month[ish. We don’t share email addresses with anyone, and they can unsubscribe/close their account at anytime, and open their account to watch the video again”.

Thanks, Nicole and Paul.

Here is how this will work. I will leave the comments open. If you send me an Email address, I will send 4 people the code. It will come to me but I will not press the Accept Comment button, so your email isn’t made public. I’ll ignore and erase it after because your email address is none of my business or anyone else’s.

To keep this fair for my readers across the globe, some of which might be asleep at posting,  I’ll write down 4 times, and closest to the time gets it. After that, or if there is a problem I didn’t anticipate, I will then close the comments. No commenting several times allowed.


(contest now closed)

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