C5’s, Make Amerika Goth Again, Post Apocalyptic Halloween Special

goth 1

With your ghoulish Host, Category5


I only lost 2 subscribers in my last Very Scary post. I figured there would be a lot more. There may be more with my next post where I stomp on a stubborn myth (Solar Shmolar- It’s the Fascism, Stupid). Ive never been known for my subtleness.

I thought I might be censured by WordPress. Instead, they put it on the WordPress Reader. Perhaps my views aren’t as SCARY out there as say, Zombies driving  from the Mortgaged House to the Job to the Mall to the haunted House again as a nightmarish BAU Circle Of Hell. Petro-Purgatory. Greta and Dante’s Inferno. What a divine comedy it has been to watch.

I thought I would start with a Treat. All Hallows Survival Advice when the dead walk amoungst us. The ghost of Halloween Past. People were impressed I had Zucchini in March. Here is my last butternut squash from, that’s right, Last Halloween .

skull and squash


Notice the SCARS? I guess it had a tiny bit of frost damage… but proper sun hardening in the greenhouse allowed it to heal. It was kept in a dark, dry, coolish, well ventilated laundry room since

Here is another Trick to keep you from being the Walking Dead, from the Hangman.

hanging beans

Beans are bundled up and hung in assorted places, like here in the greenhouse. These are ground beans as opposed to climbing beans. Our climbing beans might dry on the vine, but in the cool moisture of fall, we found that our ground beans would mold before they were fully done. The solution was to pull them, roots and all, tie a workable bunch together and hang them. The beans then would suck any last life from the plant like a Vampire to finish growing before drying. Also, my  other climbing beans were picked a bit early when they just start to shrivel. It wasn’t a one time job. Just when I walked by. When I noticed them starting to go, I’ld just stick them in my hoody pockets and drop them on a shelf in the greenhouse to finish. No risk of mold from rain or the pods breaking open to lose the beans. They now all sit waiting for a cold winter day, to be shucked while sitting and watching Netfluff.

When old survivalists mention Beans, Bullets and Band-aids…. This is how the beans get done. They don’t just magically appear in the big Box-Mart conjured by Halloween bean elves.

So. What else  is needed for a decent Adapters Chili?

The onions are hardened in the greenhouse with care… In hopes that Saint Death will leave in despair.


The onion greens in the jar were chopped and dried on a cookie sheet in the greenhouse to be rehydrated into soups later. Just remember, the onion seeds grow on those greens. We didn’t get enough of those this year. Quik tip for big onions. Once they start to be well formed, pull the dirt away from them so only the roots underneath the onion is still in the dirt.

And last… Every good Adapters chili needs tomatoes.

green 2

This experiment from several years ago was both a success and a monumental fail. Using really old windows as mini greenhouses. Start them early. Protects them from cold winds. extends them past frost. The problem was, that old glass was thin and fragile. Lots of glass had to be pulled from the garden. Snow would break it. So would the chickens when they got in and panicked. Newer thick glass recycled windows would work much better. I’ld also recommend designing them to be easily taken apart so you can store them inside over the winter. A board is  simply place on top when its cold. I’ll just toss an old piece of plastic sheet over these tonight as I expect their will be frost. That will keep it going a bit longer to get a few more of the green straglers.


Spooky MrsC5 put these late comers out to dehydrate today, to be stored for later. The drying tray is simply a recycled window screen. And whats that growing beside it? Well, What Adapters chili is complete without actual chilies. As you can see here, staying undead can be stripped down to two things. Food and Firewood. A place to do both is also helpful.

Doing what I am pointing out is how to avoid this….

Adapt Now. Don’t Fear The Reaper.

joke 4

Ah, BOC. The band that was Goth before their was Goth.

Just a reminder. If you haven’t cleaned out your stove pipes, you might want to do it before there is snow on the roof. Only YOU can stop creosote chimney fires… and Fascists. (I’ll probably take down that last post within the next week or two, as I said I would)

I just changed out the gasket on my wood stove today, as well. Its unfortunate but a woodstove wont work efficiently without a gasket so you will need some in reserve… as well as the gasket glue to hold it in place… Soooo….I did a little experiment last year. The gasket was about four tears old. It was crushed flat and full of creosote. I wanted to see if it could be restored. I pulled it out and beat it on a pole till it was fluffy again. Then I glued it back into place. The good news was it worked. More good news. Old stove gasket glue that had been opened years before, hadn’t set as often happens to other glues once you break the air seal. It only really sets from the heat of the stove. I thought I was so smart.

Now the bad news. This week, the gasket crumbled apart. I had to put a new one in. I now know their time limit… and that I will need to store gaskets and glue in my post apocalyptic suplies. No gasket and your wood will burn too hot and fast. Not useless… but much more firewood and sweat equity. Well I got an extra year out of it.

Speaking of equity….

…And the TRICK part of Trick or Treat…. VERY SCARY.

“When it becomes serious, you have to lie”

The Fed Is Lying To Us

Quantitative Easing is back.

They are just not calling it Quantitative Easing this round

Nice Trick.

Didn’t the Antichrist’N’Cheif say, “Best Economy Ever. I’m very smart. Smartest guy ever.”?

And in More Scary News… Hell Freezes Over…

Climate Chaos Now And In The Future


Before  we get all dress up for that one day a year when we can put aside our differences, that one day when we are One Nation Under Goth, when we are all Goth…

…Shall we get down on our knees and pray for deliverance.

This is the ghostly voice of C5 transmitting from the Dark Green Mountain Graveyard

If you are receiving this broadcast, YOU are the Goth Rebel Alliance


More Bonus Survival Training. No. Really.

Fear sells bad prepping.

(Edit. Oops. I accidentally doubled the first stories above. I meant to put in this story below. Very profound We need refugees to teach us survival.) (happened again. Third times the charm)


Ding Dong. Trick or Treat. If you want to put some candy in my Tip bag, it’s at the top of the page where it says Giving Just The TIP.  Don’t make me egg your house. Daddy needs beer and condoms. Its a Holiday Tradition.

And what Halloween is truly complete without a visit from Jolly Old Saint Rob Zombie.